Lunch

I saw someone post pictures a few weeks back of what she fed her children for lunch, and I thought "I'm going to copy her and do the same"...because, well, a big part of being a SAHM is feeding your kids. I guess I never really thought anyone would be interested in what I feed my kids, and you're probably thinking "I'm NOT interested, Suzi." But what the hell, why not?

So as you all know (if you read my previous post about my not-so-awesome kitchen skills), I am not a fancy cook, nor do I have any real talent in the kitchen. However, I don't really think you need to be a good cook to be able to make your children or your family healthy food, especially when it comes to lunch. I feel like lunch is usually something people just throw together in a pinch - not something you really need to plan out. For instance, this is what I fed the kids the other day for lunch:

Kellen: strawberry yogurt; cauliflower, broccoli, and carrots with melted cheese; pretzels with ranch dressing; turkey lunch meat; sliced pears; whole milk (not pictured)

Mila: pear; turkey lunch meat; avocado/squash/sweet potato mush

Here's a close-up of the avocado/squash/sweet potato mush (I suppose I should come up with a word other than 'mush' for this, but I think it fits because I 'mush' it together with a fork...so I'm stickin' with that label)



I think both of my babies' lunches are pretty balanced and healthy, and I didn't really work too hard to put them together. I will say that it is more of a pain to make homemade baby food than to just buy it at the store, but overall it's not that difficult. Just bake the food (whatever it is - could be squash, sweet potatoes, apples, carrots, etc), blend it, put it in ice cube trays over night (don't forget to cover the trays with aluminum foil or saran wrap), load the cubes into baggies, label, and freeze. Voila!

And in regards to baby food, it's not that I'm someone who's against store-bought baby food...not at all! I just find it much cheaper to do it all on my own, and I think it tastes pretty good. I'm sure it's not as smooth or fancy as something you could find at the store, but it works and Mila likes it (Kellen liked it when he was a baby, too).

So there you go. Even lousy cooks can make their children healthy meals! (Score for me!)

Already lagging behind...

Darn. I had the best of intentions with my new blog. I thought for sure I'd be able to write at least one new post per week, but jeeze, it didn't happen.

Life has been busy, lately. Well, my brain has been the busy part of my life. The rest of life has been pretty standard. Except for the fact that I had the most FABULOUS trip with my girlfriends to Chicago.

It was seriously the most fun I've had in a long time. It was great to spend time just sitting around, doing nothing with these ladies. We did DO stuff, but I think my favorite part was just being able to lay around and chat about life. Being a SAHM with a husband who doesn't get home until 7:30 or 8 every night is very lonely, and all I really ever crave is some interaction, someone to talk to. That need was met this weekend, for sure. We ate lots of food, had lots of giggles, sipped lots of wine, and overall, just had a good time with each other.

I missed my babies during the trip, a LOT, but did much better than I anticipated. I think being with my kids 24/7 made it easier for me to be away for a little bit, because my mind was just craving ME time. So even though I was sad to leave them, I knew deep down how much I needed this trip. I felt refreshed in the mommy sense when I got back home (but did not, however, feel refreshed in the homemaker-sense...damn housework!), so it was a good trip. Got to snuggle these two love bugs when I returned...

So what's been busying my mind lately? Ugh...I don't even know where to start. Things have been tough personally, and married life isn't the easiest. Moreover, I'm trying to figure out my professional future. It seems like a small decision, really, but it truly feels like I'm making a choice that will impact the rest of my life. I'm down to 6 days to make this decision, and I'm no closer to making up my mind than I was a month ago. It's really frustrating. I need to decide by February 1st if I'm going back to work next year. Some days I've said "no, I'm going to stay home another year and just find some random weekend job", and other days I've said "yes, I have to go back. We neeeeeed the money." Earlier today I was saying "I'm going to go back part-time. I'll just do my SAHM gig in the morning and go to work in the afternoon..." But it's not that easy. Here's the dilemma:

Option #1: I take another year off of work (my last chance, really...if I take the year, I HAVE to go back the following year or give up my contract). I however wouldn't be NOT working...I'd have to find some type of random job. The problem with this is: I CAN'T FIND A JOB. My husband has made it very clear that we need more money. That I need to make money. Well, I can't get said random job during the week or else I'll have to pay daycare, which pretty much spends all the money I'd be making. What would be the point of that? I'd be willing to work nights, but considering my husband doesn't get home until 7/8ish, I can't really go that route. Right now I'm trying to find something I could do on the weekend, but there's not a ton out there that would allow me to make the kind of money that we need. People have suggested tutoring, which I'm looking into, but unless I tutor from 8 in the morning until 8 at night both Saturday and Sunday, I can't really see it benefiting us much financially (that's not even factoring in time for lesson planning). I know if I take this option I will eventually find a job or will maybe have to piece together a few different jobs (maybe some late-night tutoring with a weekend serving gig), but I'm pretty much giving up any real ME time since I'll be working as a mom Mon - Fri and doing whatever on the weekends. On the positive side, if I go with this option, Kellen could be enrolled in preschool next year, I could still attend ECFE classes with my kids, Kellen could still receive speech (if he still qualifies), I could have play dates with my new mommy friends, and most importantly, I can be the primary person raising my children.

Option #2: Work part time. I could request a part-time leave, which would pretty much mean I'm asking to come back only half time. If I do this, I would have to come back part-time each day. I couldn't just work 3 or 4 days a week; I'd have to go in every day for half of the day. If it weren't a financial issue, I could really see myself liking this idea. But after looking at what my take-home pay would be, minus the cost of part-time daycare, it wouldn't make a lot of sense. I'd make maaaaaybe an extra $150 per paycheck (and that's not even factoring in the 50-mile round-trip commute). And don't even get me started on leaving my district and finding a job with another district. I've looked around, and I would be taking a serious pay cut by leaving my district. Besides, I like where I work. I've been there for 5 years, have made a name for myself, know what's expected of me, work with some amazing teachers, and have made a lot of good friends. I don't want to just get up and leave and start somewhere new, to make way less than I was making in the past. As with option number 1, the positive is that I'd still get to be the primary caregiver, Kellen could still do preschool and get speech, and I could still have ECFE and play dates.

Option #3: Work full time. Just typing this makes my heart break. Picturing my life next year, barely seeing my kids during the week, it really makes me want to cry. I've already cried several times just thinking about it. Financially, it makes the most sense. If I put the kids in daycare close to home, and work in my district, I'd still be bringing home a lot of money after paying daycare and gas. I'd make sure to find a place where I know the kids will be well-taken-care-of, obviously, but I just know they wouldn't get the type of care I could give them. That's what they deserve. But this would mean no speech for Kellen (there wouldn't be anyone who could physically drive him there), no preschool (for the same reason), no ECFE, no play dates. My life would be wake up, take the kids to daycare, go to work, pick the kids up, come home and do all the dinner and cleaning and housework (because this wouldn't fix the husband working until 8 issue), have an hour or two to myself, then go to bed and do it all over again the next day. On the plus side, we wouldn't be having money fights all the time, and I'd be able to get a bigger vehicle (hoping for a CRV), and I'd get to be able to save more money for my kids and possibly even spend a little money on myself (I wouldn't feel guilty for buying a shake at Sonic!)...and maybe we could even save up enough money to get out of this constantly-needing-a-fix-up-home and find something nicer.

I just don't know, ladies. I'm feeling really conflicted and truly have no idea what I'm going to do. I thought writing this would maybe help me make my decision, but it didn't. *Sigh*

Oh well, I'm going to go and distract myself by watching some Ellen. (Isn't she the best?)

Something you will never find in my kitchen

I've seen pictures of these on a few people's blogs lately, and I can say I'm truly impressed. It's not the actual blackboard itself I'm talking about. It's the fact that people are planning their week's menus out in advance. Do people seriously do this? This is amazing. Really, truly, honestly amazing.

You'd think that because I'm home with my kids all day, every day, I'd have the time and ability to plan something like this. But, considering how much of a cooking dud I am, there is no way I'd actually be able to do this, even if I had someone coaching me through it.

Here are the steps I take when 'planning' a dinner:

1. Around 5 o'clock, walk to the freezer and open the door.

2. Look at the premade frozen dinners purchased at Aldi, Cub, and or Target.

3. Take frozen dinner out of the freezer.

4. Read directions on back of the package.

5. Put package in the oven and set the timer.

6. Eat.

If whatever was in the freezer didn't look good, here's what I do (it gets a little more complex here, everyone, so hold on to your seats):

1. Grab a box of pasta from the cupboard.

2. Boil water.

3. Add pasta

4. Pour pasta sauce on pasta.

5. Eat.

If all else fails (i.e. we had pasta for dinner the night before or leftover pasta for lunch), here's what I do:

1. Grab the eggs from the fridge.

2. Scramble them with milk (and maybe some lunch meat if I'm feeling saucy)

3. Cook the eggs.

4. Put toast in the toaster.

5. Butter the toast.

6. Eat

You are all probably feeling very sorry for my children and husband right about now, but I assure you they get a well balanced diet. It just doesn't happen to be homemade or original. I make sure to add some veggies or pour some lettuce out of a bag. And don't forget the box of croutons and the salad dressing in the fridge. If I'm feeling SUPER ambitious, I will make some guacamole. It's pretty much the only thing I know how to make that people actually enjoy eating.

If you're wondering what I ate for dinner before having kids and being a SAHM, here's a hint:

My babies

This is Kellen.

Kellen is almost 2 1/2 (29 months to be exact). The day this little man came into the world was, without a doubt, the most memorable day of my life. After all, he is the person who made me a mommy. I love this kid so much, I don't think it's possible to describe with words.

There are so many beautiful things about this little man, I don't even know where to start. He's adorable, obviously. Those bright blue eyes and super long eye lashes are amazing (unfortunately, he inherited my blond lashes, so it's hard to see how long they are unless you're up close). He's sweet. Loves to give hugs and kisses, especially to mommy, daddy, and his baby sis Mila. He's super good with anything artsy - painting, coloring, drawing shapes, banging on the drum or keyboard. He definitely has an artsy side that I hope he pursues when he gets older. He's also very bright. He's a good problem solver and likes to study things, figure out how they work. He will sit and read books for hours.

Kellen has some challenges, as I'm sure every child does. He is stubborn as heck. There are some days he just won't give in and throws the BIGGEST tantrums. There have been several days I've contemplated jumping out the second story window. ;) His language has been a little slower to develop, which was hard for me to accept considering what I do for a living, but I knew early intervention would be key in getting him caught up. He receives speech therapy twice a month (I'd prefer more, but that's what our home district provides for children under 3). He has made tremendous progress and will probably not qualify for speech therapy any longer once he turns 3. When he first qualified at the age of 2, his expressive language was at the 8th percentile. Only 3 months later, his expressive language jumped all the way to the 30th percentile! Amazing little guy. He can be kind of clumsy and is very cautious with anything 'sporty', but this doesn't bother me one bit. For a while I was getting an earful from his speech therapist that his gate was wide and he sometimes toe walked, which really had me thinking something was wrong. But once I stepped back and looked at other kids his age and did some research to what kids his age are able to do, he wasn't that different. I mean, you are a speech therapist, lady, not a physical therapist. So, I'm trying really hard to be more laid back about this all and am learning to just support Kellen in his interests and provide him learning opportunities in areas that he's not super into. Just as he's learning the ropes of being a little boy, I'm learning the ropes to being the mommy of a little boy.
Love you, Kellen.

This is Mila.
Mila is almost 7 months old. This little girl is my world. Seriously, she is the sweetest, most snugly little baby on the entire planet! I was convinced throughout my entire pregnancy I was having a boy, so when this little angel popped out and they said "It's a girl!" I was in complete shock, and quickly became very excited that I'd get to do all the mom of a girl things. Pink dresses. Tights. Bows. Headbands. Ballet. Barbies. Dolls. Shopping. Tea parties. Prom dress shopping. Wedding dress shopping. Baby shopping! Most importantly, I was just excited that I'd get to have a sweet little daughter to build a mommy-daughter bond with. How blessed am I to get to have a mommy-son and mommy-daughter bond? Very blessed.

Even though Mila has only been in this world for nearly 7 months (16 months if we want to get technical), I've already learned so much about how she works. She's obviously a very beautiful baby! She has dark blue eyes and the most chubby little cheeks you've ever seen. Her thighs are pretty delicious as well!!! She is very independent, yet wants to know that mommy and/or daddy are nearby at all times. Her language and gross motor development definitely seem to be her strengths; she started babbling before she was 3 months old and began sitting by herself at 5 1/2 months. (Interesting comparing Mila and Kellen's development, because Kellen's strengths were fine motor and social). She LOVES her big brother - he definitely comes in at a close 2nd to mommy (and I think if it weren't for the boobs, Kellen would be in first place). Speaking of, she's still nursing like a rock star. There was a week or two where she wasn't a fan of nursing during the day, but we soon realized that she had an ear infection. Once she finished her medication, she went back to her normal nursing routine. She loves eating as well (just like her mama) - so far, she has tried avocado, apple, banana, pear, sweet potato, squash, yogurt, peas, carrots, and cheerios. Exciting stuff, right?
Mila continues to struggle with sleep. She has never slept through the night. There have been maaaaybe 2 nights where she has only gotten up once, but most often she gets up 2 - 4 times a night. We tried the kind of cry-it-out method with her, but it just didn't work (for me). Aaron was fine with the crying, but I just couldn't let her cry for more than 10 minutes at a time. So right now I'm just trying to go with the flow and am keeping my fingers crossed that she will figure it out.

She's a perfect little sweet pea now, but you wouldn't have known it 2 months ago. From 3 - 5ish months she had some major night-time colic. She would cry almost non-stop from 4ish until 9. It was to the point where no one would watch her because of the crying...not even grandmas! This was a very hard time for us all, but especially for Aaron. I could go on and on about this 2 month span, but now that I'm on the other end of it, I've kind of forgotten how bad it was.




These are my kids. My life. My job, I guess you could say. I love these two kids SO MUCH and really enjoy being home with them. But I'd be lying if I didn't admit there are days I'd like to drop them off at a daycare so I could have some time to myself. Being a SAHM can be very isolating. Boring. Messy. The days are extremely long. But don't think for a second I don't remind myself how very lucky I am to be in this position.

Am I going to be able to do this again next year? I'm in the process of trying to figure that out right now. I will most likely be blogging about this soon, as I have until February 1st to decide my fate for next year (work and make $$ vs. SAH and make no money).

I aint no Suzi-Homemaker

Most SAHMs/homemakers/housewives are probably good at things like cooking, baking, cleaning, hosting parties...things like that. I'm not good at those things. When I try to cook, it usually ends up overcooked, too crunchy, too mushy, or just plain ol' icky. Baking is quite the experience. No matter how hard I try to follow the recipe, it never turns out how it's supposed to. My mom thinks that maybe it has something to do with my stove. I'm pretty sure it has something to do with the person making the food (me). See the example to the left. I'm okay at cleaning, but am overall lazy. Dusting is a joke. Vacuuming is a lot of work. I can't stand doing dishes or laundry, but manage to get to it when it needs to be done. Don't even get me started on inviting people over for parties or playdates, because I'm just too paranoid about people judging how cheap my things are and how much work needs to be done on our house. For my friends that do come over, I trust that they just love me for who I am and don't judge me for my lack of money! As for my mommy skills, I do my best. I have a lot of mommy guilt, as most mommies do, and I'm pretty sure most other moms could do a better job than I. However, I love my kids unconditionally and that's what is most important.
                              
                                      

My intent with this blog is twofold: First, I want to document my time as a SAHM, because I know I won't be able to do it for long. These moments with my babies are fleeting and wonderful, yet extremely long and dull at the same time. I cherish these days nonetheless, and want to be able to look back and remember what it was like to be home with my kids. Second, I find it hilarious that someone with such awful homemaking skills is a SAHM. Many of my days are filled with ridiculous moments, and I wonder if others might find humor in my life. I know I do.

Wish me luck in my blogging endeavors. See you soon.